Based On A True Story

The second half of the following senario truly happened. The second scene resulted in the brainstorming of how the first scene came about. It truly is a puzzle.

Scene One: Store (very hard to determine where)

Mother: "I'm looking for a present for my larger than average 12 year old daughter."

Store Clerk: "We just got in these sex machine shirts. They would be perfect for church or school!"

Mother: "That's perfect! I'll take one."

Scene Two: Grandmother's humble abode. A Sunday morning. Grandmother and grandaughter are getting ready for church. 12 year old walks in styling in her sex machine shirt.

Grandmother: (Slightly aghast, but trying to hide it.) "You can't wear that to church."

12 year old grandaughter: "Why not??? My mom got it for me and says it goes with these shorts."

American Idol Concert

The American Idol concert proved to be a laugh a minute event. We traveled to the concert in an old school van with a lack of air conditioner, making us sweat bullets.
Parking was a challenge and we arrived slightly late. My boss tried to persuade various parking attendents to let us into their lots, promising various things to no avail.

Though paling in comparison to Dave Matthews, the concert was for the most part a musical feast for the ears. A wide variety of songs were presented in which we could sing with and some could dance to. A major highlight included watching my boss bust a move to "Crazy in Love" sung by Paris.

After the concert we sampled new Mint Chocolate Chip Poptarts, which were given a higher than moderate rating, though I wouldn't rush out to buy them.

Due to the high traffic and inability to procede out of the parking garage, we decided to go to the Marriot to cool our parched throats. While there, my boss deemed me her pupil and demonstrated her ability to pick up guys in bars, utilizing the line "Are you waiting for someone?". Suprisingly enough, her techniques were effective in getting the man to sit down and talk with us. Notes were taken for future reference.

The experience was quite enjoyable and we all can't wait for next year.

PAUL AND REBECCA'S WEDDING


Exhasted after counseling church camp
A week of very little sleep
We set off for Paul and Rebecca's wedding
Not knowing what adventures we would reep

Allison had lost her directions
And she was running late
I was made to be the leader
Dismissing thoughts it might be a mistake

We drove and drove forever
The time it did expire
The groom had proclaimed 45 minutes
Now we're calling him a liar

In reading the directions
I made a grievous misplay
I missed the steps FOR EVERYONE
And led us the WRONG WAY

We turned then looked for Murray Farm
Striving to beat the clock
More than a secondary, thirdary, or fourthdary road
Our efforts to attend were blocked

Then filled with joy in finding the location
Despite being 20 minutes later than desired
I drove into a gaping rut
And couldn't move my tires

Sadly we missed the short but sweet wedding
And many kind people set to the task
Of moving my car with a tractor and chain
While I posed with a whiskey flask

We did get to attend the reception
Celebrate with our friends; memories they'll always keep
Then after getting winks and having a good time
I finally got some _________

Science Center

Our trip to the Science Center was a raving success. Immediately upon arriving, we met my favorite person of the day. This seller of tickets was quite hilarious. We were asking directions to the cheesecake factory and asked if we could walk to its location. With a face and voice devoid of anything but seriousness, this chap replied that you could walk to the Cheesecake factory and it would take four hours. I so wished he could hang out with us the rest of the day.

In the science center, we learned about the percentage of chance you had of dying by natural disaster, and of which natural disaster. We learned about earthquakes, sitting in a booth that simulated various earthquakes of different rankings on the ricter scale. We took shadow pictures, climbed the rock wall, and raced Jackie Joyner Kersee.

Justin had a great debate regarding the differences between an IMAX theatre and an OMNIMAX theatre. We saw Superman in the OMNIMAX theatre, which I will give him, was different. It was quite an experience, and despite some slight dizziness, was very enjoyable.

We ate at the cheesecake factory, and I was able to give out my first cell phone citation, to Justin, who was chatting it up on the phone while dining with us.

4th of July

Celebration of the 4th of July was very merry and festive. We played volleyball in the afternoon and then went to a Pig Roast. There, we ate a plethora of food. We played Big Booty and Ultimate Frisbee. The only slight negative was the lack of fireworks, though sparklers helped to make up for this. It was pretty much the best 4th of July ever, if anyone could ever know that.

Cousin Singing Debut

Jess, Kayla, and I made our singing debut at Mount Zion Church's Talent Night last night. We sang Sing, Sing, Sing and Love of God in My Heart. We were a smash hit! I even played my guitar for an audience for the first time ever despite my previous proclamation that I would only play for myself. Afterwards, we hung out with Carrie! We tried Sam's Choice Asain Trail, which proclaimed to be a flavor journey of teriyaki, honey-ginger, rice cracer crescents, wonton noodles, cashews, and almonds. I have quoted each person's first tasting reaction, in order from the person most into taking this flavor journey to that of the least.

Carrie- "It kinda grows on you."

Jess-"a neat mix"

Kayla- "tastes bland" then she tried a green one- "Oh Ho! Whoa!"

Lori-"Ewe! Try this..."

Workout!

While in Parkersburg I was victorious in running up these steps! The view from the top was worth the effort.