Christmas

Christmas was quite enjoyable as one would anticipate. Highlights included seeing Carter, spending time and playing games with friends and family, and even gift exchanges (no crappers for me this year). As always, the family Christmas dinner provided a plethora of food and a funny face picture. Much to the dismay of Stacy, mom abused her touchee, by leaving it outside in high winds. A lymeric notes the event:

Stacy declared to mom tochee abuse
For which there was no excuse
Leaving it outside in high winds
Could cause wounds never to mend
An adequate apology could not be produced

Insult to injury was compounded when Stacy’s Cranium team could not deduce the appropriate fashion trend from the following clues: bald Indian cut, laughable cut, tikes cut… Can you guess?
I was harshly reprimanded by encouraging Sandy to go after ornaments on our tree in picture taking attempts. Apparently, this was outrageously disrespectful to those who had cut, put up, and decorated the tree.

Clam Baking To Alvin and The Chipmunks

Jessica's grandparents invited us to sing in their Christmas program. Yet another singing performance was successful and the covered dish dinner was even more successful. Jacqueline would have loved it. Grandma participated in the funny face picture. Afterward, Carrie joined us to go to Ollie's and a movie. However, our efforts to see The Holiday were thwarted with a misreading of the movie place. After some (what was deemed) superfluous spending by me, we decided to go home. Kayla, driving us, was stopped by Officer Hawk Eyes on the way home due to a light being out above her license plate. Kayla has gotten quite the reputation with the cops for her chronic speeding (she has been known to drive 35 in 35 mile zones) and it may have looked as if we were clam baking in the vehicle. As Officer Hawk Eyes approached the vehicle, he was greeted with the sound of Alvin and the Chipmunks coming from the CD player. We regretfully did not offer to sing for him.
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This Lori’s Lexicon moment is brought to you courtesy of Stacy’s wisdom. (And people say I have the fascination with drug info)
Hotbox: Verb
to hotbox (third-person singular simple present hotboxes, present participle hotboxing, simple past hotboxed, past participle hotboxed)
The act of smoking marijuana in a small confined area until it is full of smoke, typically a motor vehicle. The purpose is for the user to get "higher" by not letting any smoke out. Also known as clam baking, box out
Retrieved from "http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hotbox"

Carrie outdid herself with her fiber optic Indian head that she created for me to grant the wish of one of my coworkers' Christmas lists. A limerick celebrates its beauty.

Carrie created a fiber optic Indian head
A myriad of colors yellow, green, blue, and red
A fun masterpiece it is
At art, she’s such a whiz
Who would ever wish another gift instead

Missing: SpongeBob Cup: A Glorious Reward For It's Return

My cousins had a SpongeBob cup
That made every drink more thrilling
It could make hot drinks more warming
And cold drinks to be more chilling

No matter what the drink
Milk, water, pop, or juice
I’d run to get that cup
To make sure I got its use

When it was used and dirty
It’s Cupness I was quick to wash
If someone else was using it
I exclaimed, “Dang it!” and “Gosh”

And on a bitter winter evening
I visited my cousins so dear
I raced to find the SpongeBob cup
But it would not appear

We had a shakedown of the cupboard
Scavenging every cranny and every nook
With crazed madness I peered around the kitchen
No place was left unlooked

With great sadness I chose another cup
And although it was spongebob too
My drinking pleasure just was not the same
My imbibement was askew

And so I pray a fervent prayer
To God in heaven above and up
Please bring back the joy in my drink
Pease bring back the Sponge Bob cup

Friday's John Vaughnism's

On this blustery evening, I had my last guitar lesson of the semester. To wait over a month and a half for more pearls of wisdom will undoubtedly be a sad situation indeed. Here are the quotes:

Very randomly, “Do you garden?”

In regards to the fact that Route 50 extends clear to the Golden Gate: “That’s why we have our silly little drug problem, it’s so conducive to distribution. You might consider that if you decide to switch careers or as a result of your career, and not in regards to the profit. "

“That’s the pernicious nature of this. It’s addictive.”

(As you can tell definitely on a drug/addiction theme tonight…)

“I once had a friend who had an avocado plant named Arthur.”

“You can play this simply or in such a way that people will admire what you are doing at the same time they wish you would stop.”

And the final parting words before the lengthy break, “Enjoy the fruits of your labor.”