I Finally Conceded: My First Cell Phone

As a wise sage once said, just because other people eat too much candy and get fat, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t eat candy.

I have taken this advice into account as I feel forced into no longer being a cell phone hater. I feel that while I don’t have to be a lover, I can at least be an accepter or a user or one who benefits from their usage.

As opposed to my usual focus on their negative qualities, I will try to picture the positives of having a cell phone:

When alone at the mall or other trendy spots, you can talk on the phone or play with the phone in order to look connected or occupied, as opposed to a lone loser.

When walking along the many paths of life, you may encounter someone you don’t wish to talk to. This may happen frequently. Get out the phone and talk or pretend to talk, wave and move on. You’ll never have to talk unwillingly again.

No more Mother’s Day freak outs. On Mother’s day, when not around a phone, and having not called your mother until 9, she won’t freak out and call all your friends and coworkers.

Soon I will move on to checking my messages every 5 minutes, taking a multitude of calls while dining in a restaurant, hearing my ringer go off in church, sacrificing safe driving, a major reduction in problem solving skills… But the advice of the sage must stay always in my mind. I don’t have to eat so much candy that I get fat.